And Keeghan makes 6: The Orphanage

Ok, I think I can talk about my trip to the orphanage without ending up in tears...

I debated this trip heavily. Keeghan was NOT happy to be handed to me and we'd been told several times over that she was very attached to her nannies and didn't like strangers. After our first day together I was pretty sure this information was very accurate. But after hearing that this particular building was being closed and knowing that I may never have the chance to see where Keeghan had spent so much of her first two years I had to go. I'd had Keeghan for three whole days when we set off on this trip. It was an hour and a half car ride through some rural parts of the countryside to YiYang which is actually a big city (4 million people I believe we were told). Upon reaching the orphanage my stomach was in knots. I was immediately greeted with the clothing police who didn't think the long sleeve dress and leggings Keeghan had on were enough so they went and put a winter coat on her. Who and I to argue? We were greeted by the orphanage director and assistant director who welcomed us with food. Then we had a chance to go up to where the kids play and sleep. The building is pretty old and certainly not overly clean but it wasn't filthy by any means...just dingy by our standards. As soon as we were up the stairs Keeghan's nannies were grabbing for her. I, was horrified. I knew it was going to happen but I was feeling so completely protective of Keeghan at that point that I didn't want to put her down. Keeghan looked confused but was happy to get picked up by her nanny. I let her carry her down the hall where they showed me Keeghan's room (see crib photo below). Keeghan kept going to the next crib back where,I eventually found out, there was a younger baby (who Keeghan called mei mei) in that crib but you couldn't see her because she was totally covered in blankets! That completely freaked me out. Then we went back into the playroom where there were other kids...all younger toddlers and babies. Keeghan was happy to see a familiar place and familiar faces. Seeing that many children there without families, however, was very difficult for me. There was one child in particular that I will never get out of my head. My guess is that this child was probably around a year and was literally folded in half sitting on the floor. Like, the baby's face was flat on the floor between it's legs. I wanted to scoop everyone of them up and bring them all home but I couldn't so much as stay and play with them. I was also told not to take pictures of any of the kids so I went on the side of caution and only took photos of Keeghan with her nannies, her crib, and a few outside the orphanage. One of the nannies showed me that Keeghan liked to put her head on the floor and do a somersault...and even showed me pictures of Keeghan doing that on her camera. It happened that I had caught Keeghan in that pose in her crib with my camera so I showed the nanny that photo which made her laugh. I saw how much they loved my little girl and I hope they saw the same from me. I am glad we went and that I have these memories and photographs for Keeghan when she's ready but it sure was a tough day. And it was VERY odd to see the toys from Keeghan's referal photographs in person!