2 years later

It's hard to believe Keeghan has been home for 2 years!  2 years ago I was jet lagged, crazy sleep deprived, and trying desperately to get my holiday preparations done.  Today...well, I'm not jet lagged!  Keeghan amazes us everyday with her sense of humor (and sarcasm), her ability to make us smile, her love of music, and her passion for life. 

She's cautiously excited for Christmas.  Santa Claus is ok at a distance.  She'll give him a high five and wave but isn't so enthusiastic to sit on his lap.  There was a few weeks where she was not interested in him coming in our house at all and she was more than willing to forgo gifts if it meant Santa would not come in our house.  She is now ok with the idea that he will leave presents without coming in her room to wake her up and scare her.  Much to the relief of her siblings who are very excited for some presents!

Keeghan gets dragged from sporting event to sporting event to watch her siblings play whatever the sport of the month is without complaint.  Soccer was the sport for the fall while basketball has mostly taken over for the winter (though Kennedy, our soccer queen, is playing indoor soccer...and was selected to participate in the Olympic Development Program's winter training).  Keeghan can't wait until she is big enough to play some sports of her own!

Here's hoping you all have a very Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and an amazing 2011!!

Lady Gaga and Mulan

Bad blogger

First day of school

I have been a bad blogger for sure. We're finally (I think) to the point where we don't have too many more firsts for Keeghan. She's settled into school pretty well. She does still hang onto my leg when I drop her off but typically there are no tears and she comes home telling me about what fun things she gets to do at school.

Sleep is ok. Keeghan still (usually) naps for me after lunch which we both need. She goes to bed around 7:45 but has been up CRAZY early lately (read that as 5:30am) which is NOT going to be good once we hit the time change. We actually had 2 days over the weekend that she slept in until 6:30 or 7 but that seems to be over. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the big kids are up bright and early and aren't terribly quiet. Overall, though, sleep is ok. We certainly aren't getting up 20 times a night which I am very thankful for.

We took Keeghan to her first country fair yesterday. She was excited to go and see animals. She petted a cow and touched a sheep and fed a goat. We also managed to get her on a carousel for the first time. She wasn't so sure at first that it was a good idea at all but once we got on and started going she let go of my neck long enough to wave to Ba Ba and her siblings. We also went on a giant slide which was not such a hit. There were a few tears once we hit the bottom but she calmed right down and wanted to go back on the carousel...so we did. Keeghan also got to fish for a duckie, try fried dough, see pigs, ox, horses, rabbits, chickens and all kinds of other stuff. We had a fun day as a family which was nice.

Pre-School

Keeghan started pre-school last Tuesday. I was dreading it. I knew leaving me was not going to go well. I tried to keep the thought light and we all talked school up. Tuesday morning she was ok driving to school and even getting out of the car. We walked up and got in line all without tears. She held the hand of one of her teachers and went off into school. I was stunned. So stunned that I went into the office to sit and was going to sneak down to peak in and make sure there were no tears. One of the secretaries (Keeghan is going to school at the same elementary school where the 3 big kids went so I know a few people thank goodness) went down and came back to report Keeghan was fine. I left, and headed off to do a few errands by myself (almost forgot what that feels like!) and then home to do some cleaning (Keeghan is NOT a fan of the vacuum so I vacuumed without having to carry her around which was a joy!). Picked the princess up after her 2 1/2 hours of school. She said she had fun though her teacher said she did cry for about 10 minutes at one point during the day. I knew that day 2 would not be pretty. Now Keeghan knew what was going to happen and that would involve me leaving. I was right. I got "NO SCHOOL" all morning and though she went to the car and didn't flip once we got out of the car Keeghan was hanging onto me so tightly that I didn't need to actually hold her. I told her I would walk into school with her but that MaMa couldn't stay. Or....MaMa could stay for a good 35 minutes while Keeghan was not happy. I finally told her it was time for me to go, peeled her screaming 3 year old arms off my leg, climbed over her, and left. I stood outside the door listening to her scream for another 5 minutes and then thought she had stopped. I walked down the hall and ran into the assistant principal who say the tears in my eyes and took mercy on me. She walked down and went to check on Keeghan for me and returned to tell me that Keeghan had stopped crying and was sitting at the paint table...a bit standoffish but not crying at all. Phew. I took off to hit my Wednesday morning kickbox class...very late mind you but I REALLY needed it come then. Pick up was fine. Keeghan was happy and told me about her day. Thursday morning we started again with "no school!". I had decided I would simply drop her off and go knowing full well that her teacher would call if she needed me (she was kind enough to send me a few pics of Keeghan having a good time painting and playing with friends on Wednesday). Again, had to peel Keeghan off me while she was crying and saw that she was still crying as I drove by to leave but the report at pick up was that she had stopped crying before they even went inside. Again, phew! Keeghan was again very excited to see me at pick up and repeated over and over "You pick me up!". Friday is a no school day for the little princess so we'll see how Monday goes after a long weekend off. I'm going to stick with the drop off and go theory and hopefully there will be less tears each day with the assurance that I will be back to pick her up.

Pictures

Summer is winding up

I'm very sad that our summer is coming to a quick end. We've had some great trips to the beach, a fun time at a Barenaked Ladies concert, an awful stomach flu, good times in our own backyard, and a few fights, but overall it's been an awesome summer and it's pretty much over.

This week started soccer practices and the big kids go back to school next week. The girls start Tuesday while Devon gets a bonus day off and doesn't go until Wednesday since he's an upperclassman. Kennedy and Carson will both be in middle school (8th and 6th grade) and Devon is in his sophomore year of highschool. It was nice to have them home for the summer. They are awesome with Keeghan and help keep her entertained. I'm going to miss that.

Keeghan is starting pre-school at our elementary school so I have another 8 years to look forward to being a part of that school community. I am excited for her to start school but a bit sad too. I will miss her while she is at school but I know she will have a ton of fun making new friends and learning new things. We have been talking about school since last spring and she will tell you that when she goes to school MaMa goes to work (I used this knowing she understands that I go to work and she stays with BaBa or TiTi in hopes that she would start to process that I will not be going to school with her) but I'm pretty sure when it comes down to it my leaving may be an issue. We've come a long way in letting MaMa go to work and even on an errand or two without having a meltdown but new people and places are not a strong point. We've met the teacher several times and been in the classroom too. I'm hoping to get her in the classroom a couple times over the next week or so. Hopefully we can make a tough transition smoother.

This summer has brought about potty training. Keeghan had been ready for a while but I wasn't ready to push the issue. I finally gave up and just put underwear on her. We've had a few accidents but overall that worked. We still do a pull up at nap and bedtime but that's all good. It was generally an easy process though we are still working on pooping in the potty all the time. We'll get there I'm sure. Once we make the transition to school we will work on getting out of the crib as well.

I know I crave routine and school will bring that! It will also bring sports and way more running around. Carson and Kennedy both plan to play school soccer while Devon is going to play an indoor lacrosse league. Kennedy is also playing on a travel soccer team and Carson will be going back to gymnastics in a month once soccer is mostly done. I think school will be enough for Keeghan!

July 31st

Keeghan is officially 3. Her birthday was Thursday and we had a bowling party...glow bowling to be exact. We took her bowling over one of the winter vacations this year and she loved it so a bowling party just made sense. And really, what's more fun than some 3 year olds with bowling balls? Keeghan had an awesome time and did really well with not getting overwhelmed and out of control. She totally understood that it was her birthday and that we were having cake. Presents were a total after thought for her. Whenever we mentioned a present for her birthday she'd bring up Santa. She enjoyed opening her presents though once she figured out they were for her : ) She still gets very excited when something is hers. As far as 3 year olds go she is very good at sharing and waiting her turn (of course we have moments of not waiting to share but overall she is good). She's come so amazingly far in the 19 months she's been home. We sleep (most nights) and once in a while I get to run an errand and Keeghan will want to "stay here". There typically aren't huge meltdowns when I go to work. Sure we still have clingy moments and meltdowns and bad days after busy days but who doesn't?

Blowing out the candle.

Happy Birthday to you...

Bowling!

Awwww!! Keeghan and one of her very first friends...a travel mate, Maelin. The girls have grown SOOO much.

Some summer pictures

Summer is flying by

It seems summer is flying by us! Keeghan's 3rd birthday is next week which means it's been 2 years since we first saw her beautiful face. She's grown and changed so much and continues to amaze us. Her language is coming along but there are plenty of words that just don't come out even close to right so we continue with speech therapy and will be transitioning Keeghan to pre-school this fall. I'm not so sure that transition will go terribly well as Keeghan is still pretty clingy with me and will often give me a hard time about leaving for work and I really don't get much of a chance to leave her for anything else unless she's asleep. I'm thinking I need to re-visit some reading on anxious attachment and work on that. We have been talking alot about Keeghan going to school and that MaMa will go to work while Keeghan is at school and she says "ya!" and is excited to go "in my classroom and do learning" but I'm not so sure that enthusiasm will continue once she realizes that I'm really NOT staying. I'm going to put together a photo album of pictures to try and help with the transition...Keeghan getting ready for school, Keeghan getting dropped off at school giving MaMa a hug, MaMa waving bye bye, Keeghan in her classroom, MaMa coming back to pick Keeghan up, and Keeghan going back home. Hopefully the visual will help. She is understanding that MaMa comes back (and BaBa too) and will tell us that but it doesn't always mean MaMa gets to leave without tears or clinging. The teacher she will be with is fabulous and I know we'll make this transition eventually but it doesn't make it any easier for me to think about.

Speaking of transitions...Devon has been away this week at a lacrosse camp. This is the first time he's been away from us this long and it seems to be going well (thankfully he's sent me text messages) but I'm ready for him to come home. I'm interested to see how he feels about having been away for a few nights with strangers. Hopefully he's learned a few things and had some fun. I'm looking forward to hearing all about it.

And Kennedy, she gets to do a soccer camp in a few weeks that is being run by a major league soccer team...very cool. She's really looking forward to it and is really ready for soccer season to get going.

Carson did a gymnastics camp last week. She's been BEGGING us for years to let her do gymnastics. I've been saying "NO" for fear of the expense but we finally gave in and said, fine...one week of camp. I went to pick her up day one and they want to put her on a team. One of the coaches saw her flipping around and asked where she trained and when they realized she was mostly self taught (I have enough experience that I've helped a bit) they knew she'd learn quick. We explored the costs (UN-DOABLE) and settled on an option that lets Carson spend 2 hours a week in the gym with girls at her level and will not bankrupt us.

So far, so good for summer. Looking forward to some more time at the beach, a trip to the zoo, and whatever else this warm weather brings!

The last month in iPhone pics

Keeghan has master the playground.

Kennedy's team took 2nd place at our state open cup a few weeks ago.

Carson graduated elementary school.

Kennedy got my iPhone for her birthday...and I get the new iPhone : )

Keeghan enjoyed alot of fun at the end of the school year.

Summer is upon us

Almost. The big kids have another week (and a half day) of school and we've got a few more lose ends to wrap up the end of the year but I'm looking forward to some lazy days and beach trips and maybe hitting the zoo this summer. Devon is finishing up his freshman year of high school. Kennedy will head in to her last year of middle school (8th grade) in the fall while Carson will be starting middle school (6th grade). It's hard to believe they are all out of elementary school.

My years there, however, are not done as Keeghan will be starting pre-school at our elementary school in the fall. She is enrolled in a program that meets for about 3 hours 3 or 4 mornings a week. It's a classroom that consists of both identified and typically developing kids and we aren't totally sure yet if Keeghan will go as a "typical" child and be given speech and OT services that way or if she will end up identified to receive the services she needs. We did some testing last Friday and have a few more meetings and some more testing to do before we'll have all the answers. We've been in Keeghan's classroom twice now and Keeghan is very excited to go to school. I'm not so sure that enthusiasm will continue once she realizes I will not be attending school with her. I'm sure we'll figure it out and she will have a ton of fun once she's settled in. We've come a long way in the 18 months Keeghan's been home and I'm very proud of my little princess. She's an amazing little girl.

Her sisters and brother are pretty amazing too. Devon had a great first season playing lacrosse for his high school team. He has never really played before but held his own and played fairly well over the course of the season. As I said in a previous post he has earned a place at a camp this summer and is really looking forward to that. He's also hoping to play in a summer league and will then play soccer in the fall and then lacrosse winter and spring.

Kennedy has had a great spring soccer season earning herself a spot as a captain of her team. She's scored a few hard earned goals which is nice to see. One was in a tournament where a boy on the opposing team was giving Kennedy a very hard time (he called her some choice names and went as far as saying that girls couldn't play soccer). Kennedy proceeded to put a shot into their net showing this boy he was very wrong and girls most certainly can play soccer...even with boys and succeed. I'm proud of how Kennedy handled herself and of how her team mates supported her. They're a great bunch of kids.

Carson had a busy spring with soccer, school track, a school talent show, band and chorus. She was constantly on the go but kept up with all of it and made sure her school work was done well and she still had time for her baby sister : )

Keeghan continues to grow and amaze us. She is not yet 3 but weighs a solid 40lbs and is a good 41" tall...monster baby! She's getting better about staying without me when I work or run an errand and she continues to enjoy going to the gym with me. She loves being outside swinging, in the pool, on her bike, on the trampoline or at the park but she HATES bugs. The sight of a bug (or a piece of dirt that looks a bit bug like) throws her into a panic and she will scream if it's too close. There have been a few issues with bugs in the car where we have had to stop driving to squish the bug before she would even start to calm down. I'm hoping this fear will get better over the summer because it's a bit much. Despite often being dragged around to soccer or lacrosse or some school event Keeghan has kept a smile on her face (most of the time) and tries to go with the flow. It's easy to forget she hasn't been here forever.

Because I'm a proud Mom...

I have to share that Devon won a scholarship to a lacrosse camp from US Lacrosse. It is, of course, a sleep away camp which is, of course, causing me huge anxiety but I guess I'll have to let him grow up sometime and now is as good as any. Before this spring Devon has played exactly one week of lacrosse. A half day city camp a few summers ago. He was psyched to play this spring at school and has done fairly well for a kid who barely knew the game. He's loving it so even though I'm anxiety ridden over him being at sleep away camp, I'm also excited for him.

AND Kennedy was named co-captain of her (boys) soccer team. She is one of two girls on the team and has worked very hard to have a leadership role. She plays a mean game of soccer...even against boys. She's very proud of herself and so am I.

More Truths

There's still a lot of uproar about the adoptive mother who returned her son recently. It's lead to lots of talk about how well prepared parents are when adopting. Who's responsible for making sure they are ready to parent a child who may have attachment problems, sensory issues, and so much more. As a parent of both bio and adopted children I've thought a lot about this.

Parenting is really a crap shoot. Bio/adopted/foster/however your kids come to you there is no guarantee of what you'll get. There's a bit of control in the bio set...you eat well, take vitamins, have pre-natal care sure. That, however, doesn't guarantee a healthy child. Heck you can get through all of that to end up with a child with cancer or an injury that causes challenges. Same with adoption. You make choices in the process but those are no guarantee either. I think in making the choice to be a parent you need to be prepared for whatever might come your way. That said, I don't understand the attitude that a lot of people have about adoptive parents being somehow different, special. The word noble was used to me once. Every parent faces challenges and I am no different than the rest. I am in no way special for adopting. We wanted to grow our family and that's what we did.

We Are The Truth...

In response to the horrific act of an adoptive mother putting her 7 year old son on a plane back to his birth country the Joint Council on International Children's Services has asked people to today, blog about adoption success stories...I know we've only had Keeghan home 16 months, but so far so good : )

Our journey to adoption could probably be seen as having begun 11ish years ago. I was pregnant with our third child and we were pretty sure that would be it, our family would be complete. We had been lucky in conceiving easily so we opted for "permanent" birth control. Carson was born in April of 1999 when Devon had JUST turned 4 and Kennedy was 21 months old. My days were filled with diapers, feeding, carseats, Sesame Street, and all things baby and toddlers. Slowly the kids were growing up. Devon went off to a full day kindergarten. Kennedy was in pre-school and then off to kindergarten. Carson went off to pre-school...and I longed for another baby. Doug wasn't convinced that another baby was such a good idea. We still had our hands pretty full and plenty of things to work on. Until August 1st 2007.

We were literally headed out the door to soccer practice (Doug's team so he HAD to be there) when I could tell something was up. I asked what was wrong and Doug closed the door to our bedroom...UH OH! I sat down and Doug proceeded to say that he had been thinking alot and if I still thought another child was a good idea he thought we should adopt from China. He handed me an application from our agency. I was stunned SILENT. And off we went to practice. Thankfully, Doug had taken the next day off from work to hit the beach as a family. We talked alot that day...about having another bio child, about adoption (domestic and international), about everything. I did some research of my own and we decided we'd spend our 15th wedding anniversary (8/8) at an info session with our agency. We left there both knowing we were going to adopt. I made a phone call on our way to dinner to some friends who had used this agency and been home with their daughter a few years to ask a few questions and I guess share our news. The next morning we shared with our kids (over donuts of course) that they would probably be getting a new sister. We sent off our application which was approved and moved forward to finish a homestudy and all the other paperwork that needed to be done to adopt. Our big kids were asked to keep this all quiet until we were done with paperwork and homestudy approved. So, they waited a good 2 months before getting to share with friends their exciting news. It was hard for all of us. Our dossier went off to China in December of 2007...and we waited.

After much discussion, come February of 2008 we decided there were several special needs we were willing to take on. We spoke with our agency and our social worker and made a list...and waited some more. We figured we still have a good year or so to wait. We hoped that we would all travel to China. But, that all changed in July of 2008 when I opened an e-mail with a list of kids available for adoption. I questioned the files of 3 of those kids and within a few days saw my daughter's face for the first time. She was about to turn 1, was diagnosed with congenital lymphedema, and I was in love. We had research to do. Lymphedema is something far more common in woman who've had breast cancer than a 1 year old and not too many medical professionals knew what to do with a child with this condition. We made phone calls, did internet research, joined yahoo groups, and took a leap of faith the day after our daughter turned one. We locked her file and wrote a letter of intent to the Chinese government sent off a few more documents and waited for the approval that NianShuang could be ours. 2 weeks later we received that approval and shouted from the rooftops that we had a new daughter.

I travelled alone to Hunan China in December of 2008 to bring Keeghan home. She was handed to me the morning of 12/8, screaming. She kicked me, pushed me and cried some more. I tried bribing her with food (she already had 2 cookies in her hands). We left the office with her still very unhappy to be with me. At 16 months old she knew that I was a stranger and was not thrilled with the idea of going anywhere with me. The crying lasted a few hours and a few hours the next day but Keeghan decided since I was the one with the food and toys she'd deal. We worked hard on bonding over the next week. I wore Keeghan alot (no easy task with a 28lb child) and carried her and hand fed her and used a bottle. I worked to ensure her that I would take care of her. We returned home on 12/17 to meet our family at the airport. The big kids were thrilled to finally meet their new sister and we were all thrilled that I was home.

The past 16 months have been work. There are nights we've been up for 3, 4, or 5 hours at a time. There have been days where Keeghan will not let me put her down. She, to this day, does NOT like me to leave her. She does love swinging, blowing bubbles, dancing, spinning on her sit n spin, reading books and playing with her brother and sisters. She's an amazing little girl who has brought alot to our lives.

Adoption or biology, parenting is not an easy task but it is oh so rewarding. Watching your children grown, learn, love, and succeed makes every sleepless night and tough day worth it. I know we've had a relatively easy transition. I know we've been lucky. But I also did my homework and reached out for help if I needed it. I know we still have work to do and I know we'll have some VERY tough questions to answer in the future. But that's all ok because we wanted to grow our family and Keeghan was a PERFECT addition.

After 16 months...

Keeghan is officially a United States Citizen. We had an "interview" appointment today at the local USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) office where we assured them our paperwork was still right, signed a few things, turned over Keeghan's green card, and took an oath renouncing her citizenship from China. About 20 minutes in the office and voila, she's a citizen. And we didn't even manage to wreck the poor man's office though Keeghan had a great time with a stamp and stapler. I took a few pictures with my phone that I posted on Facebook and I'll try and remember to get them here.

We also celebrated Carson's 11th birthday today...so we went out for dinner and ice cream. Lots to celebrate today!

Park Pictures

Apparently kitties like rice...who knew??
St Patrick's Day

Tired out after the park

Swinging!!!

Cheese : )

Sleep is still an issue

15 months home and we're still having some serious sleep issues. Keeghan's been sick quite a bit the past few weeks with croup and now a nasty cold. I thought the croup thing was the cause of the lack of sleep at first but the week between illnesses was a BAD sleep week too. Bad like up for hours in the middle of the night and up at crazy hours in the morning. I tried blaming the time change, croup, the cold but in the end I have NO clue what the issue it. Is it attachment stuff? Is it the time change? Not feeling well? Being 2? Being too big for the crib? Being hungry or thirsty? I have done my best to eliminate what I can...some cold medicine before bed, a good snack, plenty of Mama time during the day, plenty of exercise...but none of it seemed to be getting us anywhere. I even, the other day tried to see if she'd sleep in the twin bed that's in her room but that didn't fly. I finally hit the wall at about 3am the other night after having been up to Keeghan's room numerous times and having been up for hours...again. I shut the monitor off and finally went back to sleep. I don't know how much longer Keeghan was up for but I'm guessing not long as I can hear her from my room even without the monitor and there wasn't a ton of screaming or I would have stayed awake. I guess I'm finally comfortable enough with our level of attachment that I was able to do this. I've let her yell (typically when she's up in the middle of the night she just yells "Mama, Mama, Mama" non-stop) a bit more over the past few nights and I think, perhaps, we've slept a bit more. It could just be we've had a good couple of nights but I'm really hoping that maybe we'll actually just get some sleep. It totally doesn't help that once up, it takes me forever to fall back asleep or that Doug snores up a storm and falls back to sleep in seconds after getting up (though he certainly gets points for getting up with Keeghan). It also doesn't help that I don't do well without enough sleep and enough for me is a solid 9 hours a night. I know it could be worse and I'm thankful it's not but I'm ready for a good night's sleep!

On a more technical note, we're working a Certificate of Citizenship for Keeghan. I sent in the fee and paperwork about a month ago and now we have an appointment for an "interview" at our local USCIS office in 2 weeks. I'm assuming it's just a formality and we'll answer a question or two and be all set. We're also trying to finish up our post-placement reports with our social working. Unfortunately she's taken on a new job since we started this process and it's tough for us to connect. I'm glad, though, that we'll be able to finish the process with her though and not have to deal with someone different. I have some pictures from a recent trip to the park that I'll post later this week and with the nice weather we've had here lately we broke down and got a new swing set so I'm hoping that will be up come the end of next weekend and we can have some more outdoor fun!

Sick Baby

Keeghan's got an awful cold/case of croup. The poor thing has been coughing all over and has a wicked runny nose. So not fun. This of course leads to little sleep and a clingy little girl which leads to a cranky tired Ma Ma. All in all not a good combination. I ended up bringing the little princess to the Dr on Tuesday as she was so off and he prescribed some prednisone to help with the croup. Steroids, however, have some undesirable side effects like a wound up little girl! Poor Keeghan doesn't seem to know what's coming or going and is just totally off. I hope we get some sleep tonight and are feeling better come the end of the weekend!

Bowling fun

It's school vacation week here so in an effort to do "something fun" we went bowling...