A long 3 day weekend.

Kennedy headed to the net...she didn't score this one, but put 4 others in over the weekend.
The intensity that Kennedy plays with.

Carson with three defenders on her...she looks so little playing against the 12 year olds.

Keeghan and Devon take in the semi-finals.

It was nice to have decent weather for this long weekend as we were outside pretty much non-stop at soccer. The girls played a tournament at a nearby town (read as 20 minute drive) which meant 6 games between Saturday and Sunday (an hour each game). Keeghan was a trouper and made it through most of the games. I ended up taking her for a quick car ride Saturday to get her to sleep and she slept through one game in the car while I stood there to watch the game. Good thing that game was at the ONE field where I could watch the game from the car. Carson played 5 of the 6 games but Kennedy could only play 3 (because of the fact that one team was registered at U-11's...ie 11 and under) so I did have some help from them while they were hanging out of the sidelines. Keeghan has learned she can't go on the field and stays pretty close to me, but there are, of course, a million other people on the sidelines who think she's cute (cause she is) and want to play with her, touch her, pick her up, feed her...whatever. I was pretty done with that come the end of the day Saturday and Keeghan was on her way there. It shows when Keeghan gets fidgety that she is tired and not happy about what's going on. Sunday was only 2 game so not quite as bad, but another long day as there ended up being a lightening delay and we didn't get home again until almost 7. We ended up back at the fields again Monday cause the girls made playoffs (both teams). A good thing, I know, but I was about done with princess patrol by then and wanted people to just keep their hands off her. I think both Keeghan and I hit our limit come nap time yesterday afternoon at the end of the final game. Keeghan was all over the place and just couldn't settle down but I couldn't leave when Carson was playing in the championship game for her division so we just toughed it out and then came home for a nap. Kennedy's team (the U-12's...Carson played with them) ended up in 4th behind three undefeated teams while Carson's team (the U-11's) ended up in 2nd. I am very proud of the big girls for their hard work this weekend but very glad Keeghan and I can have today to ourselves.

Why did you adopt?

^ That's why : )

So I was just reading a forum discussion about this on an adoption board and got to thinking...is that really a question to ask? Does it matter? Do you really mean "Oh, you couldn't get pregnant"? Or are you genuinely curious about adoption and thinking about it yourself? I do not, at all, mind answering genuine questions. I love talking to other adoptive parents and waiting parents and of course I love talking about my kids but "why did you adopt?" is a question that I'm not always sure how to answer.

There are alot of reasons we chose to adopt and not all of them are things I feel comfortable sharing with just anyone. And once some of the reasons come out, more questions come behind them that I'm even less comfortable answering. You'll often get people who question your decision to adopt internationally as opposed to domestically and others who want the details of why you've chosen a specific country over another and then there's the added dilemma of the fact that perhaps you've adopted a child with a special need (Good Lord why would one do that!!!????). Sometimes you even get "how much did it cost?". Crap...did you really just ask me that??? Different people adopt from different places for MANY different reasons and it really doesn't matter who, what, how, when, where or why...it matters that they want to add to their family and are doing it in a way that is comfortable for them. Families come in many different forms and ours just looks different...and looking different seems to welcome complete strangers to ask questions.



I get far more odd looks and questions when I'm out with a combination of Keeghan and the other kids versus when I'm out with Keeghan alone but once a discussion starts about Keeghan and it comes up that I have three other children it's pretty inevitable the next question is "all adopted????". No, but all MY KIDS. I see more of a separation due to the kids ages than anything else...I've got big kids and a little kid not bio kids and an adopted kid. It's funny to see peoples faces when I say I have four kids...21 months, 10, 12, and 14. Assuming they don't know me and I don't have Keeghan with me their minds immediately go to "oh...whoops on that fourth one huh?". If they only knew : ) Then there's the "is she adopted" question when Doug and I are together...ah, either that or we've got some serious recessive genes going on! I might just, at some point, answer that question with "Shhh...he doesn't know.".


Anyway, I guess I just wish people would think before things come out of their mouths. And not just about adoption or racial differences or special needs, but in general. Would you appreciate my asking "Why did YOU choose to have or not to have kids?" Probably not cause it's none of my business.



Here's a link to a great article from O Magazine... http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200704_omag_adoption_8_things?cnn=yes

A busy Sunday...

Yesterday started out pretty normally. Got up, went for a run, showered, went to work. The big girls had a soccer game in Bow (AGAIN) and I decided since it had stopped raining that I'd go and let Keeghan nap in the car. OR she could fall asleep and wake up in a coughing fit ten minutes later (she's got another cold) and not go back to sleep. It was a great game but Keeghan was DONE by halftime. She was exhausted and I just kept hoping she'd fall asleep on the way home so we could make it through the afternoon without me having a meltdown. She crashed pretty early on in the car ride. Doug called and ordered pizza for the kids for dinner so we could get home and feed them without having to figure out what we were cooking. Well, we stop to get the pizza and Doug discovers there is a kitten under the dumpster outside. I see him looking but realize he can't get his hands on the cat so I just stay in the car. Of course, Kennedy and Carson figure out what's going on and the kitten comes out to eat (someone had put a can of food right by the dumpster) and freak out that I need to go get the kitty. Keeghan was still sleeping and Doug was still waiting on pizza so I got out of the car to investigate. I go over to the dumpster and the kitten runs back under so I get on the ground and discover there are actually TWO kittens. UGH. Doug came back out and we decided we had to try and get the kitties out. Kennedy and Carson got out of the car at this point and Doug gave them shirts to try and help catch the kitties. Well I get down on the ground with a long stick and try getting kitty one out...of course he runs towards me instead of out the other side where Doug, Kennedy and Carson are. Thank goodness I moved quickly and grabbed him. Unfortunately, that did not make the kitty too happy and hit bit me a bunch. From there, Doug took the stick and got the other kitten out. They are TINY. I think they are only 5 or 6 weeks old and someone dumped them instead of finding them homes. We brought them home and gave them some food and water and of course, now they're ours. We're pretty sure one is male and the other is female and we are naming them Mao (the boy) and Yin. They are currently residing in a big box Doug made in our bathroom cause I'm afraid if we let them out we'll never see them again. Keeghan is FASCINATED with the "mao's" as she calls them (that's the Mandarin word for cat) but isn't so good at being gentle. They are pretty sweet little things and we've heard both of them purr and meow a bit. They are eating and drinking so I'm pretty sure they'll be ok and maybe they'll be cuddly kitties since they're so little.

Once we got home and got the kitties settled there was another surprise in store. The kids didn't know, but my sister is in town this week and she had planned to come over yesterday. She got here a bit late (5:30ish) and the kids were very surprised (I guess you should know that she lives totally on the other side of the country from us so it isn't like a quick drive to come visit). So we got to spend Sunday night catching up with Auntie Lee.

A few pictures of the new kitties and Auntie Lee...

Mao and Yin

A book...

I finally got a book I've wanted to read for a while. It's called "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft". It talks about the unique challenges of parenting a child adopted during their toddler years (1ish-3ish). How these children are at a time in their lives where they are trying to figure out their world and working on their independence. That they don't have the communication skills to tell you what's bothering them or talk about their pending adoption (as an older child would). How it might be normal for an 18 month old to pitch a fit about not wanting to go to bed or sit in the shopping cart, but an 18 month old adoptee might be pitching those fits for TOTALLY different reasons than a birth child or child adopted at birth. The first year of a child's life is spent in almost complete dependence of their caregivers. A child learns that the person responsible with care for them and meet their needs. Unfortunately not all children placed for adoption learn that someone will meet their needs and those who do and are then placed with their forever family are pulled from their cycle of bonding. And for toddler's this happens at a time when they are just starting to work on their independence. SO, this child that wants to "do it myself" needs their parent(s) to find the line between fostering independence and the importance of bonding.

Our original intent in this adoption was an AYAP (as young as possible) little girl. We knew there was NO way we would get an infant under 7 months but also knew we could easily end up with a 2 year old. Many babies come home from China right around 1. Keeghan was a bit older and certainly an emerging toddler so I've seen plenty of challenges with her toddler behaviour. I can't necessarily react the way I did with Devon, Kennedy and Carson...time outs in the traditional sense can't happen and we need to be careful how we show disappointment in behaviour we don't like. BUT, we also got a little girl who is walking, talking (ok, starting to talk) and playing which is SOOOO much fun. The toddler years can be really fun (and really frustrating). I'm very glad we didn't start off with a newborn. We've certainly had sleepless nights and toddler fits, but we also get laughs and smiles which make it all so much more bearable!

I'm only through the introduction of this book and it's a bit scary so far. I'll let you know what I think when I'm done.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there. This is my first Mother's Day with Keeghan in our lives and it's a bit bittersweet...to think of all the kids in this world who are without a Mom today and everyday as well as to remember that there is a Mom on the other side of the world who I'm sure is thinking of the little girl that now calls me MaMa. We planted a bush today in a tradition I hope to continue to remember Keeghan's birth Mother on Mother's Day each year. Some pictures:

Flower Planting

Keeghan's hair is long enough for pig tails!

One of her favorite toys...my iced coffee cup.

Seriously...

How stinking cute is this kid???

We had spaghetti for dinner one day last week and Keeghan ended up looking like this:

And then she found her sunglasses and put them on herself:

But tonight was the best...she was eating pizza for dinner and looking cute so I grabbed the camera:

And got this face first...And then she started mugging for the camera...

Cute Babies

We had to go pretty far today for Kennedy's soccer game but before we headed out for the day we had breakfast with one of the families I travelled to China with. They live nearby and we don't see them nearly enough. The girls were dang cute together, but did have a bit of a scuffle over a piece of paper... And while our friend was under the table...Keeghan climbed on the table to check that out.

Hey...I know you!!!

So stinking cute!!!