A book...

I finally got a book I've wanted to read for a while. It's called "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft". It talks about the unique challenges of parenting a child adopted during their toddler years (1ish-3ish). How these children are at a time in their lives where they are trying to figure out their world and working on their independence. That they don't have the communication skills to tell you what's bothering them or talk about their pending adoption (as an older child would). How it might be normal for an 18 month old to pitch a fit about not wanting to go to bed or sit in the shopping cart, but an 18 month old adoptee might be pitching those fits for TOTALLY different reasons than a birth child or child adopted at birth. The first year of a child's life is spent in almost complete dependence of their caregivers. A child learns that the person responsible with care for them and meet their needs. Unfortunately not all children placed for adoption learn that someone will meet their needs and those who do and are then placed with their forever family are pulled from their cycle of bonding. And for toddler's this happens at a time when they are just starting to work on their independence. SO, this child that wants to "do it myself" needs their parent(s) to find the line between fostering independence and the importance of bonding.

Our original intent in this adoption was an AYAP (as young as possible) little girl. We knew there was NO way we would get an infant under 7 months but also knew we could easily end up with a 2 year old. Many babies come home from China right around 1. Keeghan was a bit older and certainly an emerging toddler so I've seen plenty of challenges with her toddler behaviour. I can't necessarily react the way I did with Devon, Kennedy and Carson...time outs in the traditional sense can't happen and we need to be careful how we show disappointment in behaviour we don't like. BUT, we also got a little girl who is walking, talking (ok, starting to talk) and playing which is SOOOO much fun. The toddler years can be really fun (and really frustrating). I'm very glad we didn't start off with a newborn. We've certainly had sleepless nights and toddler fits, but we also get laughs and smiles which make it all so much more bearable!

I'm only through the introduction of this book and it's a bit scary so far. I'll let you know what I think when I'm done.