Sapped

That's what I am. Adding a toddler to our family has brought us a ton of joy but has completely thrown me. I know I've blogged about this a bit before but I'm going at it again. I know the "big kids" are old enough to sort of understand that a toddler requires more attention than they do. And we're tried hard to help them understand that they, too, got that much attention as toddlers along with the fact that we didn't get to take care of Keeghan for the first 16 months of her life (or in utero) as I did with them. I am, however, struggling with trying to give everyone everything and constantly coming up short. Keeghan needs so much from me and I want to be sure to give her everything. I am constantly wanting to make up for not being able to love her early on. I want her to feel safe and secure and not worry. I want her to catch up on her lacking skills. I want her lymphedema to be under control. All while trying to parent three other children (two of whom are hitting some of the toughest years of their lives) and be a good wife. I've tried a bunch of things over the past few weeks in the hopes of perhaps feeling like I could get my grove back without much success. I wish I could give everyone what they need, myself included but right now I'm sapped. I hope all the kids being home for the summer starting next week makes it better and not worse. I'm looking forward to having the big kids around and not having to get to soccer or school functions but I'm sure it could turn sour quickly if we don't keep busy!