2010

It's so hard to believe that Keeghan has been home for a year already. 2009 was certainly a year of learning for all of us. I'd very much forgotten how tough it is to do anything with a toddler. I thought, perhaps, being older I'd be a bit less oh...psychotic about how I parent but that's not the case. I'm pretty insistent on keeping Keeghan on her schedule. I think it's good for kids to know what to expect when but it's very important for Keeghan to know how the day is going to go. She doesn't do well with surprises. I, do, however take the time to enjoy Keeghan's laugh or her fascination with the snow which I certainly did not do enough of with the big kids. I've learned that they grow up faster than you think and if you don't enjoy every stage (even the bad ones) you'll regret it.

I've learned that Keeghan is becoming more settled in her life with us. She'll actually kiss me goodbye when I have to go to work and seems to understand that I'll be back. She spends less time unhappy and more time laughing. She gets frustrated less and tries harder to communicate without screaming at us. She plays a bit by herself and doesn't need to be "on" me quite as much. It's fun to watch her grow.

I do still have some worries. Keeghan certainly loves all of us and I am typically her first choice but her attachment with Carson worries me a bit. If she is mad at me for putting her in a time-in (we don't isolate Keeghan for time outs, she sits next to the couch near us) she will often seek out Carson. I am working on ensuring she sees Carson as her sister and me as her Mother but it's sometimes a tough line. I love how close they are and don't want to infringe on their bonding but Keeghan needs to understand the difference between Ma Ma and Jie Jie and I'm not sure she always does. I also worry a bit about Keeghan's reaction to getting hurt. She does cry and react if she's hurt (which she didn't at first) but if I pick her up and try and comfort her she doesn't really accept the comfort yet. She allows me to hold her and talk to her but she certainly doesn't seem to take comfort in that. I imagine it's just that she isn't used to being comforted and will come with time and effort just as "cuddling" has but it's something that I have my eyes open to. I know things will grow and change as Keeghan does and I hope I can do the right thing to help her grow up happy and healthy.

Hope everyone has a terrific 2010!