I have to share that Devon won a scholarship to a lacrosse camp from US Lacrosse. It is, of course, a sleep away camp which is, of course, causing me huge anxiety but I guess I'll have to let him grow up sometime and now is as good as any. Before this spring Devon has played exactly one week of lacrosse. A half day city camp a few summers ago. He was psyched to play this spring at school and has done fairly well for a kid who barely knew the game. He's loving it so even though I'm anxiety ridden over him being at sleep away camp, I'm also excited for him.
AND Kennedy was named co-captain of her (boys) soccer team. She is one of two girls on the team and has worked very hard to have a leadership role. She plays a mean game of soccer...even against boys. She's very proud of herself and so am I.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
More Truths
There's still a lot of uproar about the adoptive mother who returned her son recently. It's lead to lots of talk about how well prepared parents are when adopting. Who's responsible for making sure they are ready to parent a child who may have attachment problems, sensory issues, and so much more. As a parent of both bio and adopted children I've thought a lot about this.
Parenting is really a crap shoot. Bio/adopted/foster/however your kids come to you there is no guarantee of what you'll get. There's a bit of control in the bio set...you eat well, take vitamins, have pre-natal care sure. That, however, doesn't guarantee a healthy child. Heck you can get through all of that to end up with a child with cancer or an injury that causes challenges. Same with adoption. You make choices in the process but those are no guarantee either. I think in making the choice to be a parent you need to be prepared for whatever might come your way. That said, I don't understand the attitude that a lot of people have about adoptive parents being somehow different, special. The word noble was used to me once. Every parent faces challenges and I am no different than the rest. I am in no way special for adopting. We wanted to grow our family and that's what we did.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
We Are The Truth...
In response to the horrific act of an adoptive mother putting her 7 year old son on a plane back to his birth country the Joint Council on International Children's Services has asked people to today, blog about adoption success stories...I know we've only had Keeghan home 16 months, but so far so good : )
Our journey to adoption could probably be seen as having begun 11ish years ago. I was pregnant with our third child and we were pretty sure that would be it, our family would be complete. We had been lucky in conceiving easily so we opted for "permanent" birth control. Carson was born in April of 1999 when Devon had JUST turned 4 and Kennedy was 21 months old. My days were filled with diapers, feeding, carseats, Sesame Street, and all things baby and toddlers. Slowly the kids were growing up. Devon went off to a full day kindergarten. Kennedy was in pre-school and then off to kindergarten. Carson went off to pre-school...and I longed for another baby. Doug wasn't convinced that another baby was such a good idea. We still had our hands pretty full and plenty of things to work on. Until August 1st 2007.
We were literally headed out the door to soccer practice (Doug's team so he HAD to be there) when I could tell something was up. I asked what was wrong and Doug closed the door to our bedroom...UH OH! I sat down and Doug proceeded to say that he had been thinking alot and if I still thought another child was a good idea he thought we should adopt from China. He handed me an application from our agency. I was stunned SILENT. And off we went to practice. Thankfully, Doug had taken the next day off from work to hit the beach as a family. We talked alot that day...about having another bio child, about adoption (domestic and international), about everything. I did some research of my own and we decided we'd spend our 15th wedding anniversary (8/8) at an info session with our agency. We left there both knowing we were going to adopt. I made a phone call on our way to dinner to some friends who had used this agency and been home with their daughter a few years to ask a few questions and I guess share our news. The next morning we shared with our kids (over donuts of course) that they would probably be getting a new sister. We sent off our application which was approved and moved forward to finish a homestudy and all the other paperwork that needed to be done to adopt. Our big kids were asked to keep this all quiet until we were done with paperwork and homestudy approved. So, they waited a good 2 months before getting to share with friends their exciting news. It was hard for all of us. Our dossier went off to China in December of 2007...and we waited.
After much discussion, come February of 2008 we decided there were several special needs we were willing to take on. We spoke with our agency and our social worker and made a list...and waited some more. We figured we still have a good year or so to wait. We hoped that we would all travel to China. But, that all changed in July of 2008 when I opened an e-mail with a list of kids available for adoption. I questioned the files of 3 of those kids and within a few days saw my daughter's face for the first time. She was about to turn 1, was diagnosed with congenital lymphedema, and I was in love. We had research to do. Lymphedema is something far more common in woman who've had breast cancer than a 1 year old and not too many medical professionals knew what to do with a child with this condition. We made phone calls, did internet research, joined yahoo groups, and took a leap of faith the day after our daughter turned one. We locked her file and wrote a letter of intent to the Chinese government sent off a few more documents and waited for the approval that NianShuang could be ours. 2 weeks later we received that approval and shouted from the rooftops that we had a new daughter.
I travelled alone to Hunan China in December of 2008 to bring Keeghan home. She was handed to me the morning of 12/8, screaming. She kicked me, pushed me and cried some more. I tried bribing her with food (she already had 2 cookies in her hands). We left the office with her still very unhappy to be with me. At 16 months old she knew that I was a stranger and was not thrilled with the idea of going anywhere with me. The crying lasted a few hours and a few hours the next day but Keeghan decided since I was the one with the food and toys she'd deal. We worked hard on bonding over the next week. I wore Keeghan alot (no easy task with a 28lb child) and carried her and hand fed her and used a bottle. I worked to ensure her that I would take care of her. We returned home on 12/17 to meet our family at the airport. The big kids were thrilled to finally meet their new sister and we were all thrilled that I was home.
The past 16 months have been work. There are nights we've been up for 3, 4, or 5 hours at a time. There have been days where Keeghan will not let me put her down. She, to this day, does NOT like me to leave her. She does love swinging, blowing bubbles, dancing, spinning on her sit n spin, reading books and playing with her brother and sisters. She's an amazing little girl who has brought alot to our lives.
Adoption or biology, parenting is not an easy task but it is oh so rewarding. Watching your children grown, learn, love, and succeed makes every sleepless night and tough day worth it. I know we've had a relatively easy transition. I know we've been lucky. But I also did my homework and reached out for help if I needed it. I know we still have work to do and I know we'll have some VERY tough questions to answer in the future. But that's all ok because we wanted to grow our family and Keeghan was a PERFECT addition.
Our journey to adoption could probably be seen as having begun 11ish years ago. I was pregnant with our third child and we were pretty sure that would be it, our family would be complete. We had been lucky in conceiving easily so we opted for "permanent" birth control. Carson was born in April of 1999 when Devon had JUST turned 4 and Kennedy was 21 months old. My days were filled with diapers, feeding, carseats, Sesame Street, and all things baby and toddlers. Slowly the kids were growing up. Devon went off to a full day kindergarten. Kennedy was in pre-school and then off to kindergarten. Carson went off to pre-school...and I longed for another baby. Doug wasn't convinced that another baby was such a good idea. We still had our hands pretty full and plenty of things to work on. Until August 1st 2007.
We were literally headed out the door to soccer practice (Doug's team so he HAD to be there) when I could tell something was up. I asked what was wrong and Doug closed the door to our bedroom...UH OH! I sat down and Doug proceeded to say that he had been thinking alot and if I still thought another child was a good idea he thought we should adopt from China. He handed me an application from our agency. I was stunned SILENT. And off we went to practice. Thankfully, Doug had taken the next day off from work to hit the beach as a family. We talked alot that day...about having another bio child, about adoption (domestic and international), about everything. I did some research of my own and we decided we'd spend our 15th wedding anniversary (8/8) at an info session with our agency. We left there both knowing we were going to adopt. I made a phone call on our way to dinner to some friends who had used this agency and been home with their daughter a few years to ask a few questions and I guess share our news. The next morning we shared with our kids (over donuts of course) that they would probably be getting a new sister. We sent off our application which was approved and moved forward to finish a homestudy and all the other paperwork that needed to be done to adopt. Our big kids were asked to keep this all quiet until we were done with paperwork and homestudy approved. So, they waited a good 2 months before getting to share with friends their exciting news. It was hard for all of us. Our dossier went off to China in December of 2007...and we waited.
After much discussion, come February of 2008 we decided there were several special needs we were willing to take on. We spoke with our agency and our social worker and made a list...and waited some more. We figured we still have a good year or so to wait. We hoped that we would all travel to China. But, that all changed in July of 2008 when I opened an e-mail with a list of kids available for adoption. I questioned the files of 3 of those kids and within a few days saw my daughter's face for the first time. She was about to turn 1, was diagnosed with congenital lymphedema, and I was in love. We had research to do. Lymphedema is something far more common in woman who've had breast cancer than a 1 year old and not too many medical professionals knew what to do with a child with this condition. We made phone calls, did internet research, joined yahoo groups, and took a leap of faith the day after our daughter turned one. We locked her file and wrote a letter of intent to the Chinese government sent off a few more documents and waited for the approval that NianShuang could be ours. 2 weeks later we received that approval and shouted from the rooftops that we had a new daughter.
I travelled alone to Hunan China in December of 2008 to bring Keeghan home. She was handed to me the morning of 12/8, screaming. She kicked me, pushed me and cried some more. I tried bribing her with food (she already had 2 cookies in her hands). We left the office with her still very unhappy to be with me. At 16 months old she knew that I was a stranger and was not thrilled with the idea of going anywhere with me. The crying lasted a few hours and a few hours the next day but Keeghan decided since I was the one with the food and toys she'd deal. We worked hard on bonding over the next week. I wore Keeghan alot (no easy task with a 28lb child) and carried her and hand fed her and used a bottle. I worked to ensure her that I would take care of her. We returned home on 12/17 to meet our family at the airport. The big kids were thrilled to finally meet their new sister and we were all thrilled that I was home.
The past 16 months have been work. There are nights we've been up for 3, 4, or 5 hours at a time. There have been days where Keeghan will not let me put her down. She, to this day, does NOT like me to leave her. She does love swinging, blowing bubbles, dancing, spinning on her sit n spin, reading books and playing with her brother and sisters. She's an amazing little girl who has brought alot to our lives.
Adoption or biology, parenting is not an easy task but it is oh so rewarding. Watching your children grown, learn, love, and succeed makes every sleepless night and tough day worth it. I know we've had a relatively easy transition. I know we've been lucky. But I also did my homework and reached out for help if I needed it. I know we still have work to do and I know we'll have some VERY tough questions to answer in the future. But that's all ok because we wanted to grow our family and Keeghan was a PERFECT addition.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
After 16 months...
Keeghan is officially a United States Citizen. We had an "interview" appointment today at the local USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) office where we assured them our paperwork was still right, signed a few things, turned over Keeghan's green card, and took an oath renouncing her citizenship from China. About 20 minutes in the office and voila, she's a citizen. And we didn't even manage to wreck the poor man's office though Keeghan had a great time with a stamp and stapler. I took a few pictures with my phone that I posted on Facebook and I'll try and remember to get them here.
We also celebrated Carson's 11th birthday today...so we went out for dinner and ice cream. Lots to celebrate today!
We also celebrated Carson's 11th birthday today...so we went out for dinner and ice cream. Lots to celebrate today!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Park Pictures
Apparently kitties like rice...who knew??
St Patrick's Day
Tired out after the park
Swinging!!!
Cheese : )
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sleep is still an issue
15 months home and we're still having some serious sleep issues. Keeghan's been sick quite a bit the past few weeks with croup and now a nasty cold. I thought the croup thing was the cause of the lack of sleep at first but the week between illnesses was a BAD sleep week too. Bad like up for hours in the middle of the night and up at crazy hours in the morning. I tried blaming the time change, croup, the cold but in the end I have NO clue what the issue it. Is it attachment stuff? Is it the time change? Not feeling well? Being 2? Being too big for the crib? Being hungry or thirsty? I have done my best to eliminate what I can...some cold medicine before bed, a good snack, plenty of Mama time during the day, plenty of exercise...but none of it seemed to be getting us anywhere. I even, the other day tried to see if she'd sleep in the twin bed that's in her room but that didn't fly. I finally hit the wall at about 3am the other night after having been up to Keeghan's room numerous times and having been up for hours...again. I shut the monitor off and finally went back to sleep. I don't know how much longer Keeghan was up for but I'm guessing not long as I can hear her from my room even without the monitor and there wasn't a ton of screaming or I would have stayed awake. I guess I'm finally comfortable enough with our level of attachment that I was able to do this. I've let her yell (typically when she's up in the middle of the night she just yells "Mama, Mama, Mama" non-stop) a bit more over the past few nights and I think, perhaps, we've slept a bit more. It could just be we've had a good couple of nights but I'm really hoping that maybe we'll actually just get some sleep. It totally doesn't help that once up, it takes me forever to fall back asleep or that Doug snores up a storm and falls back to sleep in seconds after getting up (though he certainly gets points for getting up with Keeghan). It also doesn't help that I don't do well without enough sleep and enough for me is a solid 9 hours a night. I know it could be worse and I'm thankful it's not but I'm ready for a good night's sleep!
On a more technical note, we're working a Certificate of Citizenship for Keeghan. I sent in the fee and paperwork about a month ago and now we have an appointment for an "interview" at our local USCIS office in 2 weeks. I'm assuming it's just a formality and we'll answer a question or two and be all set. We're also trying to finish up our post-placement reports with our social working. Unfortunately she's taken on a new job since we started this process and it's tough for us to connect. I'm glad, though, that we'll be able to finish the process with her though and not have to deal with someone different. I have some pictures from a recent trip to the park that I'll post later this week and with the nice weather we've had here lately we broke down and got a new swing set so I'm hoping that will be up come the end of next weekend and we can have some more outdoor fun!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Sick Baby
Keeghan's got an awful cold/case of croup. The poor thing has been coughing all over and has a wicked runny nose. So not fun. This of course leads to little sleep and a clingy little girl which leads to a cranky tired Ma Ma. All in all not a good combination. I ended up bringing the little princess to the Dr on Tuesday as she was so off and he prescribed some prednisone to help with the croup. Steroids, however, have some undesirable side effects like a wound up little girl! Poor Keeghan doesn't seem to know what's coming or going and is just totally off. I hope we get some sleep tonight and are feeling better come the end of the weekend!
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