The Orphanage

Ok, I think I can talk about my trip to the orphanage without ending up in tears...

I debated this trip heavily. Keeghan was NOT happy to be handed to me and we'd been told several times over that she was very attached to her nannies and didn't like strangers. After our first day together I was pretty sure this information was very accurate. But after hearing that this particular building was being closed and knowing that I may never have the chance to see where Keeghan had spent so much of her first two years I had to go. I'd had Keeghan for three whole days when we set off on this trip. It was an hour and a half car ride through some rural parts of the countryside to YiYang which is actually a big city (4 million people I believe we were told). Upon reaching the orphanage my stomach was in knots. I was immediately greeted with the clothing police who didn't think the long sleeve dress and leggings Keeghan had on were enough so they went and put a winter coat on her. Who and I to argue? We were greeted by the orphanage director and assistant director who welcomed us with food. Then we had a chance to go up to where the kids play and sleep. The building is pretty old and certainly not overly clean but it wasn't filthy by any means...just dingy by our standards. As soon as we were up the stairs Keeghan's nannies were grabbing for her. I, was horrified. I knew it was going to happen but I was feeling so completely protective of Keeghan at that point that I didn't want to put her down. Keeghan looked confused but was happy to get picked up by her nanny. I let her carry her down the hall where they showed me Keeghan's room (see crib photo below). Keeghan kept going to the next crib back where,I eventually found out, there was a younger baby (who Keeghan called mei mei) in that crib but you couldn't see her because she was totally covered in blankets! That completely freaked me out. Then we went back into the playroom where there were other kids...all younger toddlers and babies. Keeghan was happy to see a familiar place and familiar faces. Seeing that many children there without families, however, was very difficult for me. There was one child in particular that I will never get out of my head. My guess is that this child was probably around a year and was literally folded in half sitting on the floor. Like, the baby's face was flat on the floor between it's legs. I wanted to scoop everyone of them up and bring them all home but I couldn't so much as stay and play with them. I was also told not to take pictures of any of the kids so I went on the side of caution and only took photos of Keeghan with her nannies, her crib, and a few outside the orphanage. One of the nannies showed me that Keeghan liked to put her head on the floor and do a somersault...and even showed me pictures of Keeghan doing that on her camera. It happened that I had caught Keeghan in that pose in her crib with my camera so I showed the nanny that photo which made her laugh. I saw how much they loved my little girl and I hope they saw the same from me. I am glad we went and that I have these memories and photographs for Keeghan when she's ready but it sure was a tough day. And it was VERY odd to see the toys from Keeghan's referal photographs in person!

Keeghan and I with some of the heads of the orphanage
Keeghan and her crib...there is a baby in the next crib back AND the one behind that.

The front of the orphanage.

Do I really look that bad?

Keep in mind this picture was taken on a snowday...all four kids at home and me without makeup and not having done my hair.

Ok, so twice in the past 36 hours I've had people tell me that I look really exhausted. I'm thinking that translates to "you look like crap" but no one wants to say it. I am tired, sure. I've got four kids and am trying to figure out how to parent the new one. But really, I'm not anymore tired than I normally am. Maybe it's the fact that I've lost a good 15 lbs since we got our TA in November? I had this problem before when I was at this weight where I was getting told I looked sick but how can it be that I'm at an ok weight and I look sick? Seriously...it's not like I'm weighing in at 100lbs or anything! Ok, done venting...off to bed so maybe I don't look so tired.

AND...

Right after I posted the things Keeghan does yesterday I went to get myself together to get Carson to school and go do a few errands. I was doing my hair while Keeghan was emptying the drawers in the bathroom for me. I took some hair stuff, turned the bottle upside down to put some one my hand, and then put it in my hair. Closed the bottle and put it back into the drawer Keeghan was emptying...Keeghan took the same bottle, turned it upside down in the palm of her hand and then put her hand to her hair to rub the stuff in! Obviously, the bottle was closed so she didn't get anything in her hair, but this kids picks stuff up WAY too quickly!!

Stuff Keeghan does

Keeghan is learning lots. She says (and keep in mind she's a toddler so half of this sounds nothing like it should) ma ma, da da, ba ba, up, night night, diaper, woof (sometimes while crawling around), xie xie (that's Chinese for thank you), cracker and juice. I'm pretty sure there are lots of Chinese words thrown in and I just have NO clue what they are. We've also taught Keeghan to sign "more" and "all done" in relation to food. I think we're both a bit frustrated that the communication barrier is so big right now. Hopefully it will get better as we settle in more. On a less frustrating note...Keeghan can charm the pants off anyone with a smile or wave. She waves bye bye and is starting to blow kisses as well...and we're working on "giving five".

We've been to a few basketball and soccer games this week and done pretty well. Soccer was a bit easier as there is plexi-glass separating us from the players. Basketball, however, we have to keep Keeghan off the court. Devon played last night and during half time we let Keeghan go say hi to her brother...he was a bit horrified and us letting her go out on the court wasn't such a good plan! She did mostly listen and come back if she got too close to the game though. At one point, one of the refs came over to trade her the basketball for my keys that she was holding. She wasn't too sure what to make of him but did give up the keys.

We're still having some serious sleeping (or lack thereof) issues. We woke up three times last night (11, 2, and 5) and for the most part, I just have to tuck Keeghan back in but having to get up that much is killing my sleep. After I tuck her in I end up awake for a good half hour (at least) to make sure she's really back to sleep and if she fusses around at all I end up awake for longer. This morning I gave up and went running at 5:30 and basically told Doug "good luck". Keeghan went back to sleep and I got to shower and climb back into bed for a bit.

Keeghan continues to be a very good eater. She really likes lots of different foods and we haven't found too much that she doesn't like. She does get pretty mad if we have food that she doesn't...like chips and salsa. So, generally, she tries it and likes it!

Sleep (aka I'm a mean Mommy)

So I decided since everyone was going back to school/work this week that I was going the we're sleeping and doing it in the crib route. Keeghan had been sleeping in a pack n play in our room. It was about 6 inches from my head next to our bed (due to space issues) and we were not sleeping well at all. Remember in China we slept a good 11 hours a night and napped as well. Obviously we had to get past the time change once we got home but that is well past us and we were still not sleeping well. I think being on something of a schedule is important and I really needed some solid sleep so we embarked on this mission yesterday.

I decided to keep Keeghan "up" until 1 before a nap. It was a bit after that when I tried to put her down and she wasn't so interested in being put down despite being mostly asleep. I let her cry for 5 minutes, went back in to settle her down and reassure her I wasn't going to leave her...and let her cry for 5 more minutes. Just as I was getting ready to go back in she seemed to be settling down so I let her and she fell asleep. Less than an hour later she was up and that was in no way enough of a nap so I settled her back down and left...more crying but only a couple of minutes and to sleep she went. Overall she napped for about 2 hours...decent! Well, last night was the first night I tried the crib. Went in about 7:45ish and spent some time rocking/cuddling. Set Keeghan down mostly awake but settled and said goodnight. She fussed a bit but went to sleep. We did wake up a few times in the middle of the night but I went with the back patting for a minute and left. Only took about 10 minutes the first time and she went back to sleep (though Kennedy was convinced I didn't even come up here and then when I told her I did she was like "That was loud!"). The other time I just set Keeghan back down and left and she slept until 7:30 or so. Seems like a good start but I'm not counting my chickens just yet!

Just Pictures

First nap in my crib.

Oreos are tastey!

That's my friend Shoshi and I

Happy New Year

Well, New Year here in the US anyway. Chinese New Year is the end of the month and we'll be celebrating that for sure. I, personally, spent New Year's Eve throwing up...not so fun especially when certain 17 month old little girls didn't think sleeping was such a good idea and that climbing all over Mommy who felt awful was way more fun. New Year's Day was a tough after not feeling well and not sleeping well either. We made it through though and have slept a bit better again the past two nights. We are still waking up a few times a night and typically go right back to sleep but now Keeghan also has a cold which is adding to the trouble.

Last night we had Val and her crew over for dinner which went pretty well. Then we traded girls and had sleepovers. Keeghan was thinking we were up for the day at 5:30 but I finally got her settled back down just before 7 and decided a run and shower were more essential than sleep and I was right. Got done just in time for Miss K to be awake. We had some breakfast and then went out to do a few errands. The big girls came along and we got to see some people at work that I hadn't seen since I've been back. It was awesome to see Mark and Kelly! Then we were home for a nap but got to see some other friends this afternoon. Some college friends who have two bio boys and also a daughter from China came to meet Keeghan. Keeghan was completely fascinated with Shoshi. I think someone who looked like her was a welcome reprieve from we crazy blond people. We had a great visit! Ok, now we're standing on a box of cheerios so I have to go...